just been thinking about everything today ….. how much i ate today , how much i eat in general , how im fat and ugly and stupid and worthless , how beautiful nathan makes me feel , how wonderful and amazing he is , why he wont just ask me to be his gf already (prolly bc im so fat and ugly) , how i think i might love him …. just so much . really just wanna look at thinspo <3
please please do this! I need motivation tonight.
And because I’m too weak to do it myself
i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE being fat….so badd!!
Made my weekly meal plan and work sched and work out sched into one tonight. lets see how much this helps me out. only 745 total calories from Tuesday-Sunday <333 thats if i dont drink friday night.
im scared to drink because of the calories. im fasting wednesday-friday so well see how this goes.
for lent i am going to keep myself so busy with school, work, volunteering, and friends that i wont have time to think about binging <3
food can kiss my ass. because its outta my life…
well except for the part of tonight when i had to eat dinner, but i purged it all <3 its gettin harder and harder to purge now and its gettin real annoying /:
Plannin on dyin soon…. so if i dont post nothing,thats why. <3 i just cant handle any of this anymore. I’ll give myself 2 weeks before I 100% break and actually do it…
B begged me to eat tonight. then held me as i cried my eyes out and shaked because i wanted to purge so bad….he wants so badly for me to be “better” i wish i wasnt lyin to him..i dont want to get better. i deserve every comment, every cut, every tear. this will kill me. and i will not stop it.
GREEN - fasting at that time
PINK - ednos (eating disorder not yet specified)
Ana Recovery- RED and BLACK
Mia Recovery- PURPLE and BLACK
cutter recovery- BLUE and BLACK
ednos recovery- BLACK/GREEN/BLUE
Cross out the things you’re afraid of and put your score at the top.
1. the dark 2. staying single forever 3. being a parent 4. giving birth 5. being myself in front of others
6. open spaces
7. closed spaces
13. flowers or other plants
14. being touched
16. deep water
19. the ocean
24. my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
25. boyfriends/girlfriends mom
27. jumping from high places
31. crossing hanging bridges
34. being robbed
35. falling 36. clowns
38. large crowds of people
41. having great responsibilities
42. doctors, including dentists
43. tornado 44. hurricanes 45. incurable diseases 46. sharks
47. friday the 13th
48. ghosts 49. poverty
53. odd numbers
54. even numbers
55. being alone 56. becoming blind 57. becoming deaf 58. growing up 59. creepy noises in the night
60. bee stings
61. not accomplishing my dreams/goals 62. needles
65. the welcome mat
66. high speed
67. throwing up
68. falling in love
69. super secrets
If you repost this, it’s been requested that you title it “I’m afraid of _ out of 69 common fears”
If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling.
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid. [THATS ME…]
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless.